My challenge to both parents is, be a parent at all times, and always put your children's needs first. If you cannot control yourself to do so, you need to just leave, fix your issues, then attempt to become a functional parent again. If you are not willing to do what is right for your children, then quit trying to blame the parent who is.
Judges are being trained and educated in abuser manipulation as I write this - they won't be fooled by your "poor me" stories much longer. Grow up or get out. Your kids deserve a better parent than you are capable of being.
“Fathers who battered the mother are twice as likely to seek sole custody of their children as are non-violent fathers.”
~ American Psychological Association ~