Empty Words - Apologies Require Action

I have a simple morning routine: first review the latest news headlines, then update my social media posts as I enjoy a cup of coffee.  Today I read another story about Rapper Macklemore's insulting performance in Seattle last week.  In the same manner as so many other stars before him, those who stepped over the line of performance into the realm of degradation, Mr. Macklemore has promptly issued an apology for his faux pas against Jewish folk.

It occurred to me that many of these famous people follow a predictable pattern of shock and awe, immediately followed by a drawn out period of apologetic public regret.  Few of us are actually fooled by these gestures of remorse, recognizing the entire episode instead as an orchestrated publicity stunt.  Yet, in devotion to our beloved entertainers, we soon forgive, forget, and renew our financial support for the humbled performer. 

In fact, we follow a similar behavioral pattern with our more common peers.  Is it wrong that we forgive an occasional thoughtless snippet of backbiting of a friend towards another person?  Not necessarily; however, it depends on the context in which the "slander" is carried out.  If your friend has just used a stereotypical insult, and he also happens to be a police officer, for instance, you need to let him know that this is not acceptable dialogue for a man in a position of power.  Otherwise, you are affirming his ignorance.

The biggest issue with the slippery slope of so-called "harmless"condescending banter, is the desensitising tendency it fosters to the point where others face systematic abuse.  To illustrate, when your friend constantly calls women "hoes," he is promoting a sexist culture that views women as being inferior and deceptive.  You have a moral obligation to say "hey man, that is not cool."  In doing so, you are prompting your friend to acknowledge his harmful behavior, and most importantly, to change it.

New Hope Rises in Spring

The month of April signals the renewal of life after the harsh winter conditions have subsided. People's moods begin improving in harmony with the blooming of the daffodils. But for some, there is little to be hopeful about; the abuse remains a daily constant, infused with taunting glimmers of escape, which are quickly crushed by those in control of them.

Girls like Gracie (above) are rare - most kids don't "survive" child abuse - they endure it throughout their youth, and it's effect destroys their adult life. The saddest part of it is how many people witness abuse, yet do nothing to stop it. These are usually the same people who sing the blues about how "bad" the world has become, and the ones who are so quick to defend any threats to their personal "liberties."

 

 Thankfully, there are growing groups of concerned human beings who spend hours upon hours of their unpaid, personal time to work towards creating a world without abuse. They take it personally when bystanders look the other way instead of intervening for a victim. We refuse to remain silent about those who live as prisoners in their own homes. Our goal is to trample "rape culture" with A Warriors' battle cry of "NO MORE!

Being a victims' rights advocate is the easiest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. It becomes a part of your daily routine, and social media conveniently sends the message to those who need to hear about it. In April, I have signed at least 15 petitions and sent over 20 letters to lawmakers for the following campaigns:

Child Abuse Prevention Month

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

NO MORE Abuse Campaign

Crime Victims Rights Week

I have been blessed to meet a law professor who is fighting against revenge porn, the uncle of a woman who survived a murder/suicide, and a number of book authors. They don't care where I come from or what I can do for them, and neither do I. We work in harmony to influence sustainable change in a domineering patriarchal culture; one where power is bought, bartered for, and sold.

An Ode to Women's History Month

March madness aside,

could you pause and reflect

upon a faint light cast?

A spirit of courageous sisters

suffering poverty and neglect,

a torch lit, struggling yet to be passed.

Her battle rages forth,

though countless women have died

with her freedoms in sight.

Spiting oppressive injustice,

the life of her abuser's hands' tied;

mislead by the serpent's bite.

Stalker Bingo

How will your stalker line up his fantasy today...

Respect Week

It is clearly evident that parents and teachers must do more to prevent dating violence, and the best way to do so is by having conversations about relationships before these kids start to date. We need to have them with girls AND boys, because love and respect cannot be found on a one-way street. The social messages our kids are hearing about "hooking-up "are currently contributing to a maladaptive "rape-culture." Unless we counter-act the negative by reinforcing the positive aspects of relationships, we will continue to see a rise in teen suicides and incarcerations.

There is an event going on this week in high schools across America. The National Youth Advisory Board, sponsor of the Love is Respect campaign, has designated the week of Valentine's Day as "Respect Week." Part of the National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, the message of healthy, respectful relationships is being sent to youth at a time in life when they most need to hear it.  For more information, please visit the campaign website.

Stalking Awareness Month

Imagine that you don’t feel safe. 

Someone is following you, texting and e-mailing you, and you are afraid. 

In one year, 6.6 million Americans were victims of stalking—a dangerous crime that can happen to anyone. 

If you or anyone you know is being stalked, or to find out more about stalking, contact your local police department or domestic violence agency.